It's Been A While...

I’ve had a difficult time getting myself to sit down at my computer and send you all an update.
It’s been far too long and I know I have a lot of new followers and people who have followed me for a while
wondering WHAT is going on and WHEN am I coming home, and WHEN am I coming to your state,
and a multitude of other questions.
Well…IT’S COMPLICATED! Isn’t it for us all?! :-)
DO I miss home? YES! Do I miss the road? YES!
Do I know when or where I am going from here? NO!
Do I have any idea what is happening with my life? NO!
But that’s ok…I think…
After touring the country from June through September of last year,
my husband, children and I arrived in Florida mid-September. Our plan was to stay a few months with family here,
through the new year, then hit the road again in February to head back through the south of the country.
After some much needed R&R we realized that with our funds now depleted my shows alone couldn’t continue to
sustain us on the road. We decided to stay here and find some work to save up money to get back on the road.
My husband got a temporary job working at the Amazon warehouse in Kentucky for the Christmas shopping months
while I stayed with our children in Florida continuing to pursue performance opportunities.
It helped keep us afloat but wasn’t enough for us to save up to hit the road again…so we both began frantically looking for
work here. I began to book music gigs every week, and soon filled up both weekend days and some weekdays
for a few months out. Due to our location (being in the middle of nowhere in Florida) it’s been much more difficult
for my husband to find work, and we are forced to look at any possible option wherever that may.
Thankfully my children and I have a roof over our heads and income from my gigs to provide for our basic needs
while my husband pursues permanent or temporary work opportunities anywhere in the country…or out of the country.
The past few months have been some of the most challenging of my life on many levels.
Financially. Relationally. Physically. Musically. I’ve been extremely worn down. Hopeless at times.
I’ve struggled with losing sight of who I am and my purpose.
I am SO grateful for the gigs I am playing. I am grateful that I get paid to play music.
I am grateful that I have been able to do something to provide for my family and I am happy and more than willing
to do this for them…BUT I know my music and story is meant for so much more than entertaining the bar crowd
who, yes, love my music and definitely have fun when I’m playing, but don’t really care about me and my mission.
It’s exhausting and it feels soulless and purposeless at times.
And as much as I do enjoy it, the late, late nights take a toll on my already ailing body.
As an independent musician I have always done everything myself. It’s a thousand jobs in one.
I also home school my four children, which severely limits my time to spend developing my music career.
Currently every penny I make goes to bills and taking care of my children.
I don’t have the funds to continue doing the things I feel are necessary to further my career,
like fix our van that is sitting at the mechanic’s shop until we can save enough money to repair it.
Record another album (which is absolutely necessary to get anywhere in today‘s indie music industry)
Fly back to Seattle to play shows for my hometown crowd and other cities where I have a following.
Hire a booker. Do a radio campaign. Attempt to get my songs into the TV and movie market.
And anything else I can think of to get my name and songs out there.
I don’t believe we are given gifts and talents to sit on and have just for ourselves.
We are given these gifts to make a difference. To help other people.
Our trials are pointless and terribly depressing if we can’t use them in some way for good.
To inspire others.
I am content to be where I am, when I am.
I have faith and hope that someday my music will again be where it is meant to be. 
We can’t change our circumstances but we can choose to not let them control us,
and we can choose to make the most possible with what we are given.
So I try every day to be grateful for what I do have.
I look for ways that I can make a difference in someone else’s life even in the smallest way.
If I can’t change my own circumstances, but I can give someone else even a little hope,
it lessens the sting of whatever I am going through.
I challenge you to do the same.
Thank you for sticking with me to the end. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for supporting me.
Thank you for being YOU because the world needs YOU!

Cami Lundeen
Facebook Musician Page
Twitter: @camilundeen
Instagram: @camilundeen


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